#255 – Empowering Families Through Holistic Living and Leadership with Dr. Autumn Swain

Anna Sergunina: 00:00:00

Welcome to the Money boss parent podcast, where we empower parents to make smart financial decisions while balancing the many roles we play in our families and communities. I am your host, Anna Sergunina, and today I am thrilled to have Dr Autumn Swain with us. Dr Swain is entrepreneur, educator, author and a mom who is passionate about empowering people to live holistically healthy lives. With a doctorate in transformational leadership, she has a knowledge on creating sustainable strategies for achieving greater wellness and balance. In this episode, we'll dive into how parents can prioritize their own wellness and self care, create margins in their lives for what truly matters and the most important, foster leadership skills in their children. So get ready for some powerful and insightful and practical tips that will help you and your family thrive. Hey, many bosses. Welcome back to the show. I am excited for my conversation today with Dr Autumn Swain, welcome to the show. Dr Autumn,

Anna Sergunina: 00:01:09

Dr. Autumn Swain: thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here.

Anna Sergunina: 00:01:13

I am too. And as we were chatting in our little green room before we hit the official recording button, I wanted to really for this conversation to bring to interesting topics, and maybe three. But I think in my head right now, it's like, these are the two kind of, like big questions that I'm trying to explore as a mom, as a parent, how do you find this time and space in your life to really create, you know, the wellness piece that, you know, the whole self care aspect, as well as how, because I find myself spending a lot of time and energy putting into my family, right? And so that's like the big question. And the second part of it, I don't want to take away from that at the same time, because you shared. You have two boys. My son has just started kindergarten. I want to really focus on growing very important skills in him and teaching him how to become a leader. So I want to incorporate both of these into our conversation. I know you have the background, and I am interested to dive in deeper. So thank you for being here today,

Unknown: 00:02:18

absolutely.

Anna Sergunina: 00:02:19

So why don't we start by maybe sharing of how you kind of started on this journey, and then, like, what led you to focus on this holistic, you know, health and also transformational leadership. I know it's a big word, and I've never heard anybody who has a doctorate degree, so I'm very intrigued to talk to you about that, but I, I think it would be good starting point.

Anna Sergunina: 00:02:44

Dr. Autumn Swain: Yeah, absolutely. And just in the beginning here, where you talked about these two spaces that you want me to touch on, there a lot of the seeds that were planted in me to pursue both those spaces happen happened at the same time, right? So, as you know, during my journey of life played out a lot of the same inspiration for the book and the work I do in youth leadership, as well as the work I do with adults and leaders in the way of Holistic Health, they actually fall under the same umbrella, because a lot of the things that you know we want to instill in our kids. We should also be leading from the front, right? And so, you know, we want to leave margin for our own self care and our wellness, but we also want our kids to be healthy, right? Like we want to leave margin to have, like a rich, you know, social wellness and know how to be a good neighbor. So we also want our kids to so a lot of it, you know, ends up being one in the same a little bit, although there are some very specific strategies around youth leadership and there are also some very specific strategies around, you know, how do you live in aligned life, as you know, an adult that is, you know, life is full, right? Like I rarely run into somebody that, where I don't have a conversation about how busy is, how busy life is, how full life is. But when I talk to answer your question, like, how I got into this space? So I have always valued healthy living, even since I was a little girl. Like I like to be active. My spiritual wellness was always part of my journey as well. And you know, it was just an important part of my life. But I suppose, you know, one would argue, do we really know what we want to do when we're 18 and we go off to college? So I actually my master's and my doctorate focus had nothing to do with my undergrad. But while I was doing my undergrad, I got heavily involved in a community development corporation that was super influential for me. Because, you know, I would say, although I'm a parent and I wrote a book called The playground leader, you know, to help support parents, the seeds of this book actually happened before I became a parent myself, because when I was working in this with this nonprofit, I was given the responsibilities of creating programs to support youth and family. Is okay. Now, mind you, I'm working with youth and families and some unique needs from, you know, the families and the community I was in. But I couldn't help, like, but, you know, while I was partnering public schools and we were looking at academic achievements and different things like that, I was seeing these young people as whole people, right? Like, so, you know, the the root cause of, you know, maybe some of the challenges we were trying to address had to do with the whole person. Like, how's your mental well being, your spiritual wellness, your physical health, your emotional wellness, your social like, all of it is so integrated. And so then became, you know, my journey towards creating programming that had a more holistic solution, okay? But then, you know, I was going to grad school, and I'm like, man, like, where am I going to focus? Because I'm passionate about so many things, not only youth, but like, I could look out into my community and every cause I see I want. I wanted to come up with holistic, collaborative solutions for it didn't matter what it was, whether it was like, you know, education or health or homelessness or, you know, any issue, right? And so I needed to get focused. And that's where I felt like I had this divine inspiration of, you know, if you help leaders or or parents or coaches or whoever, if you help people in their own pursuit of aligned living so, helping people in their pursuit of wholeness, helping people figure out in the midst of very full lives, to actually bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be, you know, like making actual progress towards Greater well being, then you are going to indirectly impact all of those other things, right? Because we can't show up our best as parents, we can't show up our best at work. We can't show up best for our teams if we are even in our communities, right? We can't show up our best if we're not well. So self care actually becomes an incredibly selfless thing, not a selfish thing, when you are directly when you're changing the narrative and how you think about it, instead of saying, Well, you know, if I take care of all my other obligations you mentioned, you know, you a lot of your time spent taking care of your family and, you know, even with your business and your team and stuff. But if we change the narrative and say, you know, if I create margin for my holistic well being and finding rhythms to integrate into my life. So no matter how my schedule changes, no matter what season of life I'm in, I'm still prioritizing this space. Then, by default, you're going to be a lot more effective in your other areas, but not just effective, more fulfilled, right? Like you know, just, you know, more joy and peace and all those other things that you know you want to be experiencing while you're working so hard at the things that you happen to be doing in life. And so, you know, those are just some things that really inspired me to like, Okay, this is where my dissertation research is going to focus. And then, you know, after that, I kind of branched off doing a few things. I did some health coaching for a while, but I knew ultimately, I wanted to not just focus on nutrition and physical health, but I wanted to focus on integrating all the pieces. And there's six pillars in my work, but all the pieces that comprise aligned living and not just for us, but it's also for our kids as well. So that's our spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social and economic wellness, right? Like we just they're they're intimately interconnected. We can't separate them. We don't want to compartment, compartmentalize them, because then we're just going to be frustrated. So if we recognize the integrative nature of these spaces and are intentional about pursuing goals within these spaces, you're just going to have a much better life. You know, you're going to live a life well lived. I love that. I

Anna Sergunina: 00:08:46

can certainly speak a lot on the financial part,

Unknown: 00:08:51

exactly, right, exactly,

Anna Sergunina: 00:08:53

if you're so I have, like, a lot of questions here, like, for your own experience, like, you know, studying all of this, you know, writing your dissertation, you know, becoming an expert, working, you know, and coaching people. How do you think you've adapted all of this into your own life as a parent, as a mom, like, there are, like, really, like, I don't know, practical things that you like. This is what I do, and it's been, like, the best thing for me. Or, yeah,

Anna Sergunina: 00:09:20

Dr. Autumn Swain: yeah. That's like, Thank you for asking that question, for sure. Because obviously, like, when my brand is this, like, I have to live it, you know, and so, but I don't show up for that reason. I show up because I'm convicted that this is what I want for my kids, this is how I feel my best, like, even through the the hardest times, right? Like the challenging times, the stressful times, if you build a foundation of well being, then you could show up well even when life is really hard. So you want to create that foundation before those things happen. Because, as a parent, your bail. Seeing all of these things, but then with your kids, like, you want to be patient. You want to take the time to cook healthy for them. You want to make sure that if something happens at school, you leave enough margin to talk through like, oh, what can we learn about this? That's how you build so in my book, what each chapter is a different characteristic or a different leadership focus, but one of the chapters is on empathy. Okay, so, you know, you ask about some specific examples in my life of how I live this out. Well, we make sure we leave margin in our lives to engage with our neighbors and engage with people, but we also have conversations around it so they're starting to maybe understand, okay, maybe that neighborhood kid is getting on your nerves, but let's talk about why. Let's start to empathize with maybe where they're coming from or what's going on in their life, you know, so a lot of it's just leaving margin for things that are important. Instead of getting so busy, we don't leave margin. Another example is like, we don't want to stifle our kids curiosity. We want to encourage the asking of questions. Well, when you're busy and you're trying to get out the door, you're going to hear. You just want some peace and quiet. It's easy to just stifle the curiosity. But sometimes, if we do things in the moment because we just need, for whatever reason, long term though, we don't want to, like, stifle that, that characteristic that could be so good, like in leadership, you know, it's really valuable to ask good questions, but if we stop that early on, then be like, Oh, I don't want to ask questions because, you know, it might be faced with negativity, or I might, you know, get whatever answer someone get frustrated with me. No, I want to encourage you to ask questions, and we'll take the time to to answer them. Now, it's not, the world isn't ideal. Like, sometimes we're short on time. And be like, I'll get to that later. But you know, I know a lot of people ask me about, like, how I get my kids to be healthy, like, eat healthy and exercise and all of that. That one is a big one about leading from the front. So I eat a certain way, I cook a certain way, I move my body so my kids, over time, have just adapted to not just like, This is what we're eating, but why? Like, you know, our kids are smart enough even as even as toddlers, they're smart enough to understand. You might use a little bit of different language, but you put good things in your body. You feel good. You're strong fast. You know, you don't you treat them poorly, and then you know, other things will happen. So you know, so much of this you can't just talk about, you have to lead from the front. So those are some three specific examples of things I actually do in my household that have played out in a positive way with my kids. Yeah,

Anna Sergunina: 00:12:36

I love that a lot. Very like, because I want to hear more like about practical steps, but what you're doing is, like, as practical as it will get, it's sort of like leading by example, right. Here's, here's how I do things, and kids around you observe, and I try to stick to the same thing. And you're right. Like the younger kids may need a lot simpler explanation of, here's why we don't eat a lot of sugar, or why you should eat, you know, like in comparison, but I agree on that I want to talk a little bit about. Like, maybe you can share further. Like, what are some like, the practical steps of how parents can prioritize their wellness. Like you mentioned, leave a margin. Like, what does that mean? Does that mean we allocate time on our calendar, because I feel like it didn't in my personal, personal life. Now, my calendar just, like, shrunk by a whole lot as my son started kindergarten. Like, okay, I'm trying really, like my my all my head every day is like, Alright, I gotta be efficient. I gotta be efficient, right? Because the time there's less time to do the same amount of work, and I like it on one end, but at the same time, it's a lot of pressure. So like, I want to talk about that margin so that we can, you know, develop, hopefully, a healthy, like relationship with it, because it feels at times like it's pushing pretty hard, at least for me, yeah,

Anna Sergunina: 00:14:01

Dr. Autumn Swain: for sure. So the first thing is, we don't have margin. We make margin. So it is a reprioritizing of things. So a really first practical step. It is still kind of like upper level. It's not like but it's self awareness. It's having super honest conversations with yourself. So anytime you tell yourself, I don't have time for this, say, Okay, if I know this is really important to me, this habit, I really want to integrate, whether it's, you know, cooking more food at home, using whole foods, or drinking more water, or making time to pray, or making time to have healthy, Positive relationships around you, like relationships take time, or, you know, even like with emotional and mental stress, like what you need to take time to reflect and deep breathe and all of these things take time. So let's say you take one goal, so one practical step. Okay, it's a self awareness, and, you know, having that on. Conversation, and then also not trying to do everything at once. So let's say you take one goal, and you know, if your initial inclination is, I don't have time for that, you're going to change that around. Say, I'm going to make time for this. Okay, so then you're going to actually, like, look at your life, and you might get a little creative and innovative. But one thing I know is, for example, life before kids, how I did things is not how I do things, life after kids. And so one of the things I talk a lot about my work is you're not striving to find balance to get started. I'm a big fan of rhythms, because when you integrate rhythms into your life and you look at the habits that you're forming as rhythms. It means that you're not going to have an all or nothing mindset around it. You're just going to pivot when something changes. So let's say, you know, you have the certain fitness routine, and something happens in life and that gets completely obliterated, like I can't follow through on that at all. Well, I'm not going to stop exercising. I'm going to pivot and find a different way to do it. And it might not look at all like it was before, but I'm going to create space for it. So it might mean, instead of doing 60 minutes of something, you're doing 20 minutes of something. It might mean that you're when your kids are outside, when you're outside with your kids, you're going to get some steps in and not just sit on a bench. It might mean that, you know, I'm gonna get like, a 32 ounce water bottle that I actually, like, really enjoy, and fill it up and never go anywhere without it. I'm gonna be sipping on that thing all the time. You know? It's just because certain, certain rhythms, um, actually don't necessarily take up much more time. It's a mindset shift, right? We have to eat anyways, what you choose to eat and how you choose to eat, because I cook a lot of healthy, tasty things in 30 minutes or less. Okay, so if you were to get your kids, hop in the car, drive somewhere, get some food and come back, you could probably in the same amount of time, cook a healthy meal, and it will also save you money, speaking the financial fire, financial goals, yeah, but like when you so, some of these rhythms are a mindset shift, more so than finding time. But some of the rhythms is about creating margin. I do if I do want to read non fiction, personal growth stuff, let's say, you know, you know, 15 minutes a day, okay, I have to create margin in my life for that. Let's look at things that you're doing that you find yourself like wasting time. So for example, let's say you have space in between something, instead of scrolling social media for 45 minutes. I'm not saying social media is bad, like, I'm very present on social media, but like, cut back your time a little bit to leave a little bit time for reading. So I'm going to read first, and then I can hop on and scroll a little bit. It's like, you know, it's really, or maybe for a season while you want to jump hard into something. Let's say, you know, I really need a shift in my mindset and my health goals. You know, maybe you give up TV just for a season. You know, none of these things is it's flexible. You're not like, saying, like, I'm never going to eat sugar again? You're just putting boundaries around things and and just kind of having a goal with a plan that you're going to follow while you kind of get jump started into a path that's going to work for you. But then, no, it's rhythmic. You know, you could change it, you know, maybe you get in a really solid flow and you're like, Okay, now I could do a little bit more of this other pleasure thing, because I know I've got a pretty solid routine going. So those are some things. But of course, I could go on and on,

Anna Sergunina: 00:18:30

yeah, I wanted, I know, you gave in the lot of examples, because I one of my questions, like, what are some like, you know, simple things, self care items, you know, other than, you know, making sure you eat, exercise, you know, get enough sleep that parents can do. But you talked a lot about, like, Okay, how do you how do you look at, what are your current Where are you currently spending your time? And I also like your comment about that, it's a season, because I personally have tendency to like, oh my gosh, if I'm going to commit this, this is forever. This is my life, and it's never seen you, you know, you have this. And I think we need to give ourselves a little break and like, okay for the time, being right, like, it's, it is that, and being okay with, you know, however, however it feels in that moment. Because, yeah, I mean, I like that one a lot. I think I'm gonna definitely think about it more, because at times it's like, whoa, can I do this forever? Like, and maybe you end up not doing anything at all, right? Like, maybe you're not committing to scrolling the social media lesson, reading the book that you really wanted to read, or exercising or getting more sleep. So I like that. Are there any Go ahead. Yeah, I was going

Anna Sergunina: 00:19:41

Dr. Autumn Swain: to add another one, because you guys were saying, Are there any other well, I want to hear a question as well, but I would add, like, stress management, this, to me, is a super practical thing when I was talking about having an honest, honest conversation with yourself, because a lot of times when we're stressed in our emotions, maybe we're. Like, I'm a strong believer that no emotions are bad. They're just indicators. They tell us something about what we need to acknowledge about ourselves. So whether we're feeling lots of happiness or whether we're feeling really sad, or whatever we might be feeling, instead of letting your actions just follow that emotion, you take that emotion, you say, Okay, what is this telling me about my current situation? What need is being met or unmet? And when you do that, it just brings insight into your current reality. So what I'm getting at here is when it comes to coping when you're stressed, you have to be super honest with yourself and ask yourself, like, what is the next best choice that I could make, so that you don't fall into like coping in negative ways, but you choose to do something, and this is the kicker, even when you don't feel like it. Because usually when we're stressed, there is a lot of emotions that would get like likely push us in the direction of defaulting towards, you know, just not doing something because you don't feel like it. I will tell you. Through my greatest seasons of stress and struggle and challenge, I showed up and did things even when I didn't feel like it, because I knew that that's the rhythms I needed to maintain, so that, you know, as maybe emotionally, I started feeling better. I was already, I was continuing to build on a foundation, and so that's something that's really important is like, we don't wait to get motivated. We do the thing even when we're not motivated. And that's a really, a really important factor, especially in times of social media where, like, there's motivational speakers and motivational quotes and but we got to get in this habit of, like, just showing up and making the right choice, just because of our self worth and how we view our kids, and even when you don't feel like

Anna Sergunina: 00:21:41

it, yes, and it's also like, speaks to the speaks to your character, character, because the kids are watching right? Like you're leading by example, whether you're kind of aware of yourself or not. And I'm sure we all been in situations where, like, Okay, this was not the best behavior, best decision, the best thing I've said, you know all of that, but, yeah, I I find myself in those situations at times, for sure, you alluded earlier to, like, one, one part about setting goals, because I feel like a lot of what we just talked about also comes down to, like, what are you trying to accomplish? Now, I have seen firsthand and still continue to do this with when I work with clients on their finances, right? So creating a financial plan how for some it's difficult to, like, figure out what they're trying to accomplish, or, like, what their financial goals are. Now that is definitely my job and, you know, like, put the whole thing for them together. But the but the hardest part for a lot of people, families, right? Is, is, just like, figuring out what those goals are and seeing sort of this path, okay, they know they want to retire, I'll use a simple thing, or they know they want to save for their kids college, right? But it's like, okay, I'm here. It's going to be, you know, 18 years later, if you just had younger kids, or 10 years later, or, like, retirement might be 20 years away. That's a lot of years, right? Life could happen in all kinds of ways. However, for the success that we need right, in order for for a financial plan to work, we need all this time. So, like, I'm always eager, like, we got to get the our hands on this time and start doing those practical things that you said, even if you don't want to do. So can we talk about, like, how? How can parents, I'm going to refer to parents here, like, learn better, learn skills to achieve their goals better. Like, I feel like there's a gap here.

Anna Sergunina: 00:23:38

Dr. Autumn Swain: Does that make sense? Yes, absolutely. And it's interesting you use the word gap because I'm constantly referring to this gap. Like, if you listen to my podcast, you join my community. Like, anytime I'm always talking about this gap, because it's just a lens through which I see the world, right? Like, let's say, you know, you go to a conference and you show up for, like, something that's related to your profession, or something you want to learn about, or a hobby or whatever, and you get inspired, and you know, there's conferences could be really great. You're around people. I think community is amazing, but inspiration is never enough, because you go home, and how many times do people really, like, apply all the things that came at them? Like, habits are so strong that you get home and you kind of default to your same routine? And so the question you're asking is really important, because that is my entire like, it's such a foundational reason for the work that I do with this aligned living community is because if, if you are in one place, and then there's this gap between that place, your reality and then your desires, where you want to be, like, how do you start to bridge that gap? So depending on what the goals are like, you have to seek out people that can help you with the steps. You know, everyone has different areas of expertise, or you could search and research it on your own. For me, my spaces of expertise, like when you're talking about, let's say you know, spiritual health, physical health, any of them you. You know, you have to know what to do. So let's just talk about physical health, because it's just a super easy, like analogy, really easy way to look at things. So let's say, you know, you you have a goal to have more energy. You're just tired of being tired all the time. And you know that can lead to frustration and impatience and all these things, you know, like, I just need to get to the roots. I need more energy, and that, that's the goal. But goals without a plan are just unfulfilled goals. You need a plan, and so you're specifically asking, like, how do people figure out, like, what specifically to do? So even with a healthy eating. Like, that's a pretty abstract idea. Like, you know, I could talk to 10 people and 10 people have 10 different ideas and like, what it actually means to eat well, so then you have to, like, seek out information. Like, what do our bodies actually need? Like, what things am I putting in my bodies that are contributing to my toxic overload, which most people have. Most people have too much inflammation in their body, this toxic overload, and they're they don't have enough nutrients, of like, key nutrients that our bodies really need, and we want our kids to be healthy too. So this is just really relevant. So how do you know that? Well, I mean, that's specifically why I created a community, a space where people could plug into and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna tell you exactly what you need to do, right? Like, this is, you know what you should be eating, what you should be focused on. These are healthy sources. I'm not a fan of diets. For example, I think like the goal is to make health a lifestyle. What it doesn't matter. It's emotional health, physical health, any of it. You make it a lifestyle because it's sustainable, then you're looking at, what can I do continuously that's going to benefit me, right? So I know that if you want more energy, then there are certain things that a lot of people consume, of, you know, a lot of unhealthy foods and drinks that cause fatigue. Okay, so you want to start cutting back on those. If your body's not getting enough nutrients, it's going to, you know, we need, like, I do a green shot and a gut health thing, like, every morning, because we need a healthy gut to absorb nutrients properly. We need to get enough nutrition in our bodies. The key things that our bodies need, right? And so those things contribute to energy. So does like, even like stress. You know, how we handle stress? How much rest that? You know, how much rest we get? You know, there's just a lot of things that how hydrated we are. Most people are chronically dehydrated. You need enough water. And so, you know, I would say, if you have a specific goal and you're not sure how to bridge that gap, you got to seek out a place where you can get the right information, the trusted information, to start to bridge that gap. But that being said, if you're like, I need to jump start this tomorrow. You know, some of it's fairly straightforward. If you know you're not drinking enough water to start drinking more water. If you know you're super sedentary, like, try to get 10,000 steps in a day, right? Like, it sounds overwhelming, but it's not, if you break it up throughout the day, right? Like, it's really good to walk after you have a meal. It helps balance blood sugar and stuff like that, too. So it's really good. After you eat, just go for a quick walk. You know, it's just, you know, park a little farther away. Like not all of it has to be rocket science, but the more detailed you get, yeah, it can get a little bit more complicated. That's why experts are helpful. But taking some initial steps, you know, moving your body, hydrating, cutting back on highly processed food, eating more whole foods like those are things people be like, do right away. You know, I like

Anna Sergunina: 00:28:27

that too. And I think also we out to give ourselves a little bit of more patience, because these things aren't gonna right. I mean, you would agree, these things will not whatever, you know, whatever area you're working on, even, I mean, for me, like, finances, is this top of mind, right? That's what I get to talk to my clients all day long. So everything takes time, and so unfortunately, we do get it impatient, and when this like, Okay, today, I, you know, did my eight glasses of water and walked for 10,000 steps, I should be like, 1,000% better tomorrow, probably not right, but over a period of time you will. So maybe I'm just saying this out loud to remind it to myself, but right the reality that we're in being patient and seeing seeing how that gap right, like in your head can close over time as you get closer to that goal. So I like that. I like I like that analogy a lot. I want to shift gears a little bit because I really am curious and intrigued by your book. So maybe we can talk a little bit about the play the playground leader, because at this, you know, the end of the day, we're doing all of this right? We're living this, this amazing life because we want to raise the next generation, or we are raising the next generation. So, like, how, and we're trying to be the best versions of ourselves for them. So how, like, that translates into us raising these, you know, this next generation of leaders.

Anna Sergunina: 00:29:58

Dr. Autumn Swain: Yeah. So I feel. One and let me know if there's a specific direction you want me to come out with this. But I think one of the most foundational things that we need to do one is view, are our children or our youth or the young people in our lives, or the young people like all the other kids at the school that your kids are attending as leaders for today, they have an important voice that needs to be heard for today. So that's like my starting point is, yes, I go into all these characteristics. I give super practical things that you could do to help. How do you become more generous? How do you become more confident? How do you become, you know, more naval? How do you become more healthy or well rounded, whatever it might be, right? And I take some unexpected turns because I really want to, like, challenge the way we think about things. But, you know, part of the reason I'm doing this is because, when I was working with youth, they the conversations around them were disheartening for me, because it was like, okay, you know, these are future leaders, like, when you become an adult, then maybe some of you will be leaders, and some of you will benefit society, right? Like, what they needed to hear at that time, in that moment, is you are leaders now, like, I will even make my kids at seven and 10 do things that they don't want to do. So, for example, if just yesterday was the last day the pool was opened, and so we went to the pool and the lifeguard, they wanted to ask the lifeguard a question, and they kept Mom, go ask. Mom, go ask. And I'm like, I'm not going to ask, but if you want to go ask, you go ask. And sure enough, my seminar was like, I'll go ask. Because, you know, I they have a voice and they need they can ask the questions. They can also problem solve, right? And so sometimes I let them work things out. Like, if there's some friends in the neighborhood that are kind of like struggling working through an issue, like, don't just jump in right away with the solution, right? So seeing these young people as leaders, like right now, not like future leaders, but like right now, it's like, such an important thing. And so that's kind of a starting point for me. And then, you know, just a lot of what I talk about over and over again is you have to lead from the front, like just saying these things are not enough, right? Like, if you want your kids to be generous, you know, you should probably generous, because my 10 year old's old enough now where he will throw things back at you if you're like, Well, you know, if you're talking about patience, well, you weren't so patient the other day, Mom, you know what I mean? So, yeah, so you really, really have to lead from the front of course, be gracious. Like, you know, I will be the first to apologize to my kids and say, like, I'm sorry. It doesn't take long at all, like, you know, a few seconds like, I'm sorry I should not have done XYZ, because I want to show them like, we're not perfect. We want to embrace like, you know, is how we respond to situations. Like, we I don't, we don't want to react. We want to respond, you know. And that's more grace filled, and it's more healthy, you know, when we start to do that. So does that answer your question? Yeah,

Anna Sergunina: 00:33:04

so in your book? So I'm just, I haven't read the book yet, but I'm very it really is intriguing, and I want to get my hands on it. So the book is for parents, right? So you have these different chapters, and I'm sure you could talk more about but it is for parents to start learning practical steps and how they can teach these leadership skills to their kids, correct? Yes,

Anna Sergunina: 00:33:25

Dr. Autumn Swain: although like anybody that has influence over young people, can benefit so coaches, teachers. A lot of the examples, I reference parents specifically, but the principles are translatable to like anybody that wants to pour into kids. And to be honest, like all these characteristics I talk about are the same things that adults should also, you know, be setting goals to grow in their own lives. So, you know, a young professional could read it and benefit from it. They might not relate to all the parenting examples, like things that I'm speaking to my young kids about. But you know, you know, we all want to, you know, be more confident and authentic and, you know, healthy and so on and so forth. But yes, I do use some pretty specific examples for things parents could specifically do to instill some of these things in their children.

Anna Sergunina: 00:34:14

Yeah, I love it, and I really like the title. It took me a little time to figure like, what is the playground leader? But once I got into reading what the book has, like, Oh, my God, this is such a genius title. No, thank you.

Unknown: 00:34:25

It resonates really well.

Anna Sergunina: 00:34:28

Well, in closing, for today, I just want, I wanted to see if you have, like, one actionable step, like we talked about you kind of like two different areas, but they are so interconnected that our parents can take like, if, if I'm just like, I shared with you that I listened to all of my podcasts on my runs in the morning, and I'm like, and I get so inspired. I'm like, I want to do all of these things, you know. And then life starts. And then, you know, you kind of get carried, carried away. But if you are like me, listening to this episode, what is this one thing that you can just like? Do today to to make this next big step?

Anna Sergunina: 00:35:03

Dr. Autumn Swain: Yeah, so I love this question, because every time I get this question, I often answer it slightly differently, because I kind of go with like, what's in my spirit, what's in my heart at the moment, and what really jumps out at me that I want to share is I'm a huge believer that the narratives that exist oftentimes in our head can become one of our biggest barriers. So I know you've been asking a lot of like, super practical steps, like, bear with me, because this is practical, but it's also, like, higher level. Because if you think about because I've done this health coaching and leadership stuff for so long, and there's so many times where people are like, I want to do this. I'm going to do this, and then they fail to and I think part of the one of these biggest barriers is changing what we speak, what we say about things, like changing our thought patterns around certain things. So if you are always saying, you know, I don't have time to cook right, like when we speak things over and over, it's going to support an unhealthy thought pattern. And so what you really want to start doing is catch yourself the next time you, like, have an excuse, or there's something you want to do, but you just kind of justify an unhealthy choice, stop yourself and actually take the time to even write it down. But like, what is that negative thought pattern that's keeping you from doing the thing you want to do? Right? Like, if you're like, oh well, it doesn't matter, like, how much I, you know, go to the gym, you know, just like genetics or whatever something, you just have some like, thought pattern in your head. And it breaks my heart, because I want people to say, See that, like, whatever you want to accomplish with the right tools, the right time, the right space, like, you can get it done. And so really paying attention to the narrative that you're telling yourself, what are the things you're speaking about yourself? What are the things you're speaking to yourself? Because my guess is you would not want those things spoke over your children, right? And so, so catch yourself in those moments and then flip it around like almost change it into a truth statement, if there's something very specific, um, that you know you want to overcome. I don't like the taste of water, for example, like I do personally. Like, I know it's only audio here, but you've seen I've, like, sits on my water bottle like, 10 times in this talk, because I'm just, I'm so used to it. But let's say someone's like, I just don't like the taste of water. There's no way. Like, you know, whatever. But yes, there is, like, maybe you get a better water filter in a water bottle that you like, and you just drink it until you're fine with it, you know what I mean. And so that's just like that. That is probably, I would say, one of the biggest factors in being successful in whatever you're working towards. There's your thought patterns.

Anna Sergunina: 00:38:03

Yeah, I love that. Yes, and put lemon in your water. That's what I do. But,

Unknown: 00:38:09

yeah, there you go.

Anna Sergunina: 00:38:10

I know, right? Practical, practical advice. No, I love this. This has been an awesome conversation. I love for our listeners to continue interacting with you. So please share, I know you have a podcast, please share how they can connect with you.

Anna Sergunina: 00:38:23

Dr. Autumn Swain: Yeah, absolutely. So if you go to my website, autumnswain.com you will see a link to my podcast. You could find it on all listening platforms, but it's called Aligned Living with Dr Autumn and so I have my podcast. You can go to my website to learn more about the aligned living community, where I do actually like take people through the processes of moving forward in all of these spaces. On my website, autumnswain.com in the upper right hand corner, there's an Author tab, so if you click on that, it goes directly to a video about my book, plus links to get the book. So those are three platforms, and then the fourth would be social media. So I'm really active on Instagram. It goes to my Facebook as well if you don't have Instagram. But on Instagram, I'm at drautumnswain. So at Dr Autumn Swain, and I'm always throwing up new ideas and tips and things like that up there.

Anna Sergunina: 00:39:16

That's awesome. Thank you so much. We will definitely include all of this in the show notes. It's been an awesome conversation. I loved it and looking forward to reading your book. Awesome.

Anna Sergunina: 00:39:26

Dr. Autumn Swain: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.